Christ’s Christmas Blog

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A man claiming to be the third coming of Christ was arrested on Christmas Eve after turning over tables in Westfield Shopping Centre while the public snapped up last-minute gifts. Yelling “Is there anything more un-Christian than Christmas?” he was apprehended in Foot Locker when he tripped over his sandals, insisting “I’m Christ, I should know.” Continue reading “Christ’s Christmas Blog”

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Et Tu, Brute?

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As dawn breaks over stink-hit Britain, cats arch their backs and hiss at felines they don’t recognise. Could they be the cause of the awful smell? It seems best to catty minds to urinate and defecate as widely as possible, in order to ward off a further stink-fest.

Families hold their noses as they knock back eggy soldiers, then adults despair at the ineffectiveness of magic trees in their cars. The smell shows no signs of dissipating.

At The Unspeakably Posh School for Boys, Michael and Boris are deep in conversation. Continue reading “Et Tu, Brute?”

Three Very Naughty Boys

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Once upon a time, there were three very naughty boys named Boris, Nigel and Michael. They were the naughtiest children at The Unspeakably Posh School For Boys, but they never got into trouble, because they were just too posh. Michael was good at putting the blame on others. Boris could always make the teacher laugh. And Nigel was so popular with the other children that they always defended him when he’d been naughty.  Continue reading “Three Very Naughty Boys”